Jason and I had been working on our most recent comic – centered on the uproar over reception issues on the iPhone4 – for a few days before we published it on July 1st.  On July 2nd, Apple released a statement regarding the same reception issues and made claims that are eerily similar to the preposterous statement the fake Steve Jobs made in our comic: blame The Bars.  Apple’s fix is little better than our made-up-for-the-sake-of-humor fix:

“Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that the formula we use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is totally wrong. Our formula, in many instances, mistakenly displays 2 more bars than it should for a given signal strength…

We will issue a free software update within a few weeks that incorporates the corrected formula. Since this mistake has been present since the original iPhone, this software update will also be available for the iPhone 3GS and iPhone 3G.”

Really? Really.

In the first place, I question the truthfulness of their statement “we were stunned to find that the formula we use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is totally wrong”. Surely, the detail-obsessed Apple would not let such a simple and obvious flaw into their flagship product for three and a half years?  Is there any question they knew they were inflating the appearance of signal strength on their phones and that they are just perpetuating the lie now?  I don’t see how this revelation is putting them in a better spot in the public mind than they were before.

On the other hand, perhaps it really was a software mistake and Apple are simply not  infallible after all (well, there’s no question there – it’s got to be either the hardware or software that’s messed up here, regardless).  This is one hell of a fallibility.

I’m surprised at how ham-fisted Apple has been since the launch of the iPhone4.  Between easily scratched/shattered glass (seemingly more so than other smartphones or even previous iPhones), yellowed displays, and this reception issue, the whole launch has been a disaster – in spite of extremely impressive sales numbers.   Additionally, I wonder at what point Steve Jobs thought replying to emails from customers was a good form of P.R.?  And this “fix” is really just letting customers know what sucky reception they’ve been getting all along: lowering customer expectations isn’t an actual fix in any circumstance.

Ultimately, this software update isn’t going to fix the problem.  If your signal is exaggerated by two bars, and you go from five bars displayed to zero bars displayed, your actual signal is still zero.  People will not be getting any better of a signal than they ever were, so the reports of dropped calls will continue just as they are now.

Stay tuned for more anti-iPhone rants.  But in the meantime, /offsoapbox.

Jake

Update: Wired.com feels about as skeptical towards this fix as I do.

I was just wondering if people would start wearing gloves all the time as a remedy against the iPhone 4 reception issues.  Some people seem to be that violently opposed to putting a case/bumper on their phone.

They could always use this stuff:

Jason explained to me how he was so excited for the iPhone 4, he felt like a giddy kid on Christmas Eve – unable to sleep, wondering what Santa Jobs had brought him.  He suggested this would make a good comic – and he’s right; for many, Christmas truly did come early this year.  So, naturally I did what I do best; rip off someone else’s hard work and change it just enough to make me seem like less of a hack.  It quickly occurred to us that this would take until the next iPhone release to draw, so we figured we’d give it to you in boring ol’ text.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: ‘Twas The Night ‘Fore New iPhone

‘Twas the night ‘fore new iPhone, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring with their Magic Mouse.

Our 3GSes were synced up with iTunes with care
In hopes IO4 would soon be placed there

The children and wife were all snug in their beds
But I couldn’t sleep; iPhones danced through my head!

My wife with her iPad and I with my Mac
It looked like the fanbois had a Kool-Aid attack

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew without Flash™
The line from Best Buy had reached me at last!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a man whose mere presence could cast out all fear

O’er the screaming Mac Faithful and the Segway of Woz
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Jobs!

As I drew in my head and was turning around
Down the chimney came Saint Jobs with a bound

He was dressed in a dickey from his chin to his neck
As he entered, they played some hipster rubbish like Beck

A bagful of iPhones he had flung on his back
And he looked like a pusher unloading some crack

His glasses, they twinkled! His turtleneck, merry!
This was the man who took my iPhone cherry

The grin on his face was drawn back in a smirk
I’ll admit, he kind of looks like an arrogant jerk

But his genius and goodness flow forth like a river!
And he looks great for a guy who just got a new liver!

He was thin as a twig and his hair was all gray
But it answered the question of “For whom I’d go gay?”

A wink of his eye and a Cease and Desist
That came from Saint Jobs filled my eyes up with mist

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Built the World’s Greatest Phone, then turned with a jerk

Folding his arms up and wrinkling his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose

He’s as good of a showman as Harry Houdini
Even though that last move was from I Dream Of Jeannie

But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
“The Best Phone In The World, ’til at least tomorrow night!”

Something about this got under my skin in a very good way.  This is just a proof of concept in overclocking the HTC Evo 4G; Sprint’s flagship Android device, and currently (in my humble opinion) the phone to beat.  I include the iPhone 4 in that estimation.

He’s only overclocked it by about 30% (and plans to do more), but even getting 1.3 GHz out of a smartphone proc is enough to make me all twitchy.

[via]