This Help Desk

  • Jason and I had been working on our most recent comic – centered on the uproar over reception issues on the iPhone4 – for a few days before we published it on July 1st.  On July 2nd, Apple released a statement regarding the same reception issues and made claims that are eerily similar to the preposterous statement the fake Steve Jobs made in our comic: blame The Bars.  Apple’s fix is little better than our made-up-for-the-sake-of-humor fix:

    “Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that the formula we use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is totally wrong. Our formula, in many instances, mistakenly displays 2 more bars than it should for a given signal strength…

    We will issue a free software update within a few weeks that incorporates the corrected formula. Since this mistake has been present since the original iPhone, this software update will also be available for the iPhone 3GS and iPhone 3G.”

    Really? Really.

    In the first place, I question the truthfulness of their statement “we were stunned to find that the formula we use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is totally wrong”. Surely, the detail-obsessed Apple would not let such a simple and obvious flaw into their flagship product for three and a half years?  Is there any question they knew they were inflating the appearance of signal strength on their phones and that they are just perpetuating the lie now?  I don’t see how this revelation is putting them in a better spot in the public mind than they were before.

    On the other hand, perhaps it really was a software mistake and Apple are simply not  infallible after all (well, there’s no question there – it’s got to be either the hardware or software that’s messed up here, regardless).  This is one hell of a fallibility.

    I’m surprised at how ham-fisted Apple has been since the launch of the iPhone4.  Between easily scratched/shattered glass (seemingly more so than other smartphones or even previous iPhones), yellowed displays, and this reception issue, the whole launch has been a disaster – in spite of extremely impressive sales numbers.   Additionally, I wonder at what point Steve Jobs thought replying to emails from customers was a good form of P.R.?  And this “fix” is really just letting customers know what sucky reception they’ve been getting all along: lowering customer expectations isn’t an actual fix in any circumstance.

    Ultimately, this software update isn’t going to fix the problem.  If your signal is exaggerated by two bars, and you go from five bars displayed to zero bars displayed, your actual signal is still zero.  People will not be getting any better of a signal than they ever were, so the reports of dropped calls will continue just as they are now.

    Stay tuned for more anti-iPhone rants.  But in the meantime, /offsoapbox.

    Jake

    Update: Wired.com feels about as skeptical towards this fix as I do.

  • I was just wondering if people would start wearing gloves all the time as a remedy against the iPhone 4 reception issues.  Some people seem to be that violently opposed to putting a case/bumper on their phone.

    They could always use this stuff:

  • Jason explained to me how he was so excited for the iPhone 4, he felt like a giddy kid on Christmas Eve – unable to sleep, wondering what Santa Jobs had brought him.  He suggested this would make a good comic – and he’s right; for many, Christmas truly did come early this year.  So, naturally I did what I do best; rip off someone else’s hard work and change it just enough to make me seem like less of a hack.  It quickly occurred to us that this would take until the next iPhone release to draw, so we figured we’d give it to you in boring ol’ text.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: ‘Twas The Night ‘Fore New iPhone

    ‘Twas the night ‘fore new iPhone, and all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring with their Magic Mouse.

    Our 3GSes were synced up with iTunes with care
    In hopes IO4 would soon be placed there

    The children and wife were all snug in their beds
    But I couldn’t sleep; iPhones danced through my head!

    My wife with her iPad and I with my Mac
    It looked like the fanbois had a Kool-Aid attack

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter

    Away to the window I flew without Flash™
    The line from Best Buy had reached me at last!

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear
    But a man whose mere presence could cast out all fear

    O’er the screaming Mac Faithful and the Segway of Woz
    I knew in a moment it must be Saint Jobs!

    As I drew in my head and was turning around
    Down the chimney came Saint Jobs with a bound

    He was dressed in a dickey from his chin to his neck
    As he entered, they played some hipster rubbish like Beck

    A bagful of iPhones he had flung on his back
    And he looked like a pusher unloading some crack

    His glasses, they twinkled! His turtleneck, merry!
    This was the man who took my iPhone cherry

    The grin on his face was drawn back in a smirk
    I’ll admit, he kind of looks like an arrogant jerk

    But his genius and goodness flow forth like a river!
    And he looks great for a guy who just got a new liver!

    He was thin as a twig and his hair was all gray
    But it answered the question of “For whom I’d go gay?”

    A wink of his eye and a Cease and Desist
    That came from Saint Jobs filled my eyes up with mist

    He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
    Built the World’s Greatest Phone, then turned with a jerk

    Folding his arms up and wrinkling his nose
    And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose

    He’s as good of a showman as Harry Houdini
    Even though that last move was from I Dream Of Jeannie

    But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
    “The Best Phone In The World, ’til at least tomorrow night!”

  • Something about this got under my skin in a very good way.  This is just a proof of concept in overclocking the HTC Evo 4G; Sprint’s flagship Android device, and currently (in my humble opinion) the phone to beat.  I include the iPhone 4 in that estimation.

    He’s only overclocked it by about 30% (and plans to do more), but even getting 1.3 GHz out of a smartphone proc is enough to make me all twitchy.

    [via]

  • It is time for the final Mountain Dew flavor review.  This flavor was a little more difficult to distinguish, a little more challenging to set its flavor apart.  I like the appearance of this Dew, it is definitely unique, and easy to see why it is called “White Out”.

    Initially, it didn’t seem to have much difference from Mountain Dew’s regular flavor, but after a sip and savor, I was able to find what made this one unique.  It tastes a little like Fresca.  Id est, it has a hint of grapefruit.

    I do not know why I think this, but I believe this would sit quite well with your typical Thanksgiving dinner-type foods.  Yes, that’s right; turkey, mashed potatoes & gravy, homemade rolls, and cranberry sauce (but only if it’s in the shape of the can it came in).  I really enjoyed this flavor for its unique and refreshing taste.  I give this a 2, out of 4, 12-packs.

  • Now we arrive to the review of Dew number two – Distortion (rhyming not intentional).  This Dew flavor is more simple to explain and recognize, even without checking the label for the key ingredient.

    I almost passed over this one because it looks like a normal Mountain Dew. And quite honestly, I didn’t have high expectations when I noticed what the dominating flavor would be.  You wouldn’t think a lime flavor would go well with Dew.  To my surprise, I found this actually has a pleasant taste.

    The flavor reminded me of Stewart’s Key Lime soda, or even a Brazilian lemonade (minus the alcohol).  It was almost difficult to think of what food would go best with this, but I decided upon seafood.  To test this, I requested to have fish on a subsequent night.  And after having my wife roll her eyes at me – confirmation that I am a nerd – I found my Dew instincts were correct.

    So, to continue with my new rating system introduced last week, I give give this Dew a 1, out of 4, 12-packs.  Enjoy!

  • Mountain Dew Typhoon

    While at the grocery store last week, I was excited to see that, yet again, we are blessed with the appearance of three new Mountain Dew flavors.  As the biggest Mountain Dew fan I know, I feel it is my responsibility to give reviews of these new flavors, to let others know the worth of their consumption.

    The first of these new flavors to be critiqued will be Mountain Dew Typhoon, “Punch of Tropical Dew”.  As the name suggests, this Mountain Dew flavor is chock-full of…you guessed it, typhoon!  What does a typhoon taste like you ask?  Well, to me, it seems to be a special blend of passion fruit, guava, a little pineapple, a hint of red 40 and yellow 5 (it would not taste like Mountain Dew without yellow 5).

    And, may I suggest that this beverage goes very well with foods barbecued.  Sitting in the backyard, grillin’ up some burgers or chicken with a Mountain Dew Typhoon in hand, you will not be disappointed with the tropical goodness this drink will offer.

    So, my way of concluding whether or not this really is a great flavor is by asking: “Would I buy a 12-pack of this stuff?  And if so, how many 12-packs will I stock up on?”  And my answer is: Yes, I would buy a 12-pack of this; and I would probably stock up on two 12-packs.  Let this start my new rating system giving this flavor a 2, out of 4, 12-packs.

  • Screaming “Taste my open source fury!” while forcing your Android-powered phone into their face also works for people who won’t shut up about their iPhone.  Although, you usually have to also physically hit them with the device in order to achieve maximum effect.  Blackberry users however, based upon my research, are immune.

    I’ve been really excited recently by the adoption (and love) of Android by many of my family and friends, with little or no direct encouragement from me.  When the G1 was released over a year and a half ago, I was hoping for this broad sense of community that has only recently been achieved (I’d say The Droid was the main catalyst for this broader awakening, although buzz about the Nexus One has been pretty good as well).  The Android community was strong and close-knit from day 1, but in the last 6 months it has begun to move beyond the tech geeks and early adopters and into the population at large.  It’s also nice to see the broader data support my unscientific observations.

    The question of superiority between Android and iPhone OS is needless.  The dismissal of either camp as kool-aid drinking fanbois is self-defeating.  What is exciting to see is the innovation and improvements being made, and that the two platforms doing the bulk on innovation are also being adopted and supported by consumers – who, regardless of market share, are the real winners.

  • Excuses

    I haven’t said much on here lately.  Work & Classes – you know, the usual distractions – have kept me busy.  I have to say, though; In looking at this most recent comic, I’m pretty sure the skinny upside-down guy is Steve Jobs.

    Not to give too much away, but we’re getting closer to meeting The Oracle, the whole reason our heroes are on their adventuuuure.  I haven’t seen the finalized look he’ll have yet, so I’m pretty excited to see him come to life.  It’s funny to look back and see these comics we have created, to see them in ‘print’ and realize that there was a point where we didn’t know how the comic would look or even what the characters were going to say.  Some of my favorite works of art – songs, paintings, even films – seem less like a creation of a person and more like something that was plucked, fully formed, from the air.  Working on this comic has reminded me that art is created by mortals, and gives me all the more respect for people who do it well.